One shining morning I was standing on a deck looking at the waters of the Pacific. I don’t recall how I got there but because the ocean holds the purity of all forms for me and a sense of wonder, its vastness always takes me in as if I am a new born, full of amazement. There is no particular time for me to be at the ocean; any time is a great time. When I cannot be there for a long while, it’s as if I am being deprived of life’s sustaining energy. At the ocean I feel that I am before the beginning of all of life’s creation.
On this auspicious Sunday I was alone but aware of people moving about in a holiday spirit on the wharf, browsing the restaurants and shops nearby. Suddenly right in front of me a couple of medium-sized whales appeared jumping and playing. I was delighted just to watch them as they moved freely, frolicking in the waters with so much ease. I was only fifteen to twenty feet from the young mammals and the deck was only a few feet higher than the water. When they slipped back below its surface I stood mesmerized by their beauty, their sleek skin and the magnificence of their sheer size. How lucky I thought, to be able to witness them that closely, almost in reach of my hand! I felt so privileged at that moment realizing that I was part of…,
And before I could finish the thought I was impacted by the force of a huge, archaic marine creature, which emerged from the ocean with such might that the water spilled out from her jump, wetting my face and clothes. I was in awe, shaken, and thrilled to be in the presence of such an amazing being, before whom I could neither move or do a thing and thus became absolutely still at such greatness and wild presence. The wetness covering my face felt glorious as if it was a baptism of some kind and now I realize that it was just that! This magnificent creature from the mysterious depth had baptized me.
Her mammoth proportions overwhelmed my senses to such a degree that I knew that I could never be the same after this startling encounter. It is impossible to meet “the magnificent” without being transformed.
What is this? Who is this? All my questions fell away as my eyes were transfixed upon her, being totally hypnotized by this grandiose energy that felt so primal and ancient as the original mother of all life. I was fully present and entered into a timeless-time without beginning or end realizing that that moment is still here with me now.
I wanted to capture her in form; and be able to see her image over and over. This fascination overtook me so that I couldn’t but take a pencil and begin to sketch her from memory.
Despite my immediate self-doubt about replicating her form, the magnificent creature emerged from the paper without struggle exactly as she appeared to me, spontaneous and free. Drawing her allowed me to be with her and to see the details that were imprinted on the depth of my psyche, without me even knowing it. Amazing revelations have begun to happen as her primordial energy continued to take form, communicating slowly why she came to see me.
I am unable to unveil the details of her communication because it is a process that is unfolding intra-psychically and thus can’t be named or conceptualized. It can only be felt. And that, I can share: It feels like a resurrection; as if deeper forces that were dormant have begun to resurface to lead me through a world of symbols, the meaning of which can only be revealed when they are experienced, not before. It is moving in the unknown only following inner impulses, before the defining thoughts of what is happening have emerged in the mind.
As I began to research whether anyone had seen this being before, or whether there are tales about her, I found that no one had seen her exactly as did I. Yet cultures all over the world consider whales as the “earth’s record keeper for all time, inspiring us to listen to the inner voice”. “The whale’s being is associated with the wisdom and awareness of the spiritual realm, blending the conscious and the unconscious into an undivided whole.”
Throughout my life I have felt compelled to dwell in the depth of the psyche. I have come to realize that as I navigate in the emotional depth of the unconscious world that I can swim with “the magnificent” without being totally overwhelmed by her power. Instead, I am guided by her beauty and serenity. When I am able to allow her energy to express itself in me I can move without resistance in the fluidity of this life. I can come out to breathe and the experience of the breath can be a moment of illumination.
As the record keeper “the great Whale” came to me knowing what is necessary for my maturation to unfold and to guide my entry across the threshold of my own transmigration. Her energy brought about my realignment with the full expression of creativity and spiritual awakening as the ultimate purpose of this life.
She was the last archaic, gigantic whale wandering, looking for me in the great vastness of the ocean and now we are together. Now, she has come home. She lives deeply within myself and within yourselves, ready to be activated, embracing us as The Magnificent, the great Mother of all.
The author's sketch
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