Harboring A Secret - Joan Shepherd

Margaret told me a secret

And added, “Don’t tell anyone” 

A secret burns inside me

In my stomach and in my brain

A neon sign flashes the tale

While I do the dishes

Or shopping for peanut butter

“Don’t tell anyone”, but…

Those are words I don’t want to hear

Because usually, that’s the first thing

I want to do. Surely Marie should know

And she would keep it with her

While I would not.

I do not want to tell anyone

And if it was so mundane

It isn’t worth repeating or even remembering. 

I wish she hadn’t told me

And added “Don’t tell anyone..”

I once knew a mother  

Who told her troublesome first grade son

before he left for school

“Don’t throw rocks at people

Don’t take that rope to school

to tie kids to the flagpole

Don’t ignore it when the teacher says:

To drink their juice nicely and

not spit it on the floor.” 

Of course, those are the very things

The kid did, like a good soldier

Following instructions. 

OK, I’ve heard the secret and kept it within me

For three and a half days. Haven’t told a soul. 

Even if I wanted to, because Lucy really should know.

I wish my friend had never told me her secret

And said, ”Don’t tell anybody!”

I haven’t. 

But…

I  probably will.