Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Before Winter Comes -Chapter 5 - MJ

Editor's Note:  This Lost Chapter follows Four Chapters that were published in January 2014.  They may be read by selecting January 2014 on the side panel. This one was  hidden on an obsolete computer.

CHAPTER 5

To the he old man in the deck chair at the edge of the beach, his son and grandchildren were already three black specks as they pedaled along the flat sand exposed by the ebbing tide. He couldn’t distinguish one boy from the other even with his binoculars, though his son still stood out by his larger size. In thirty minutes he expected them to round the headland on the south side of the long bay.

He felt strangely at peace after the upset and pains of farewell. His son had sobbed with abandon, and the old man had been almost as bad as they faced the reality of never seeing each other again, and of the likelihood of not even being able to communicate. Now it was over; his family was disappearing fast and he was determined to let the image of their trek along the beach burn into his brain so that he would have access to it as long as he lived.

That was not likely to be very long. He had kept the information of his terminal illness from his family lest they risk missing their ferry by staying longer with him out of sympathy. Now he had to face it alone: he was sick; his weakness was coming from within his body, most likely from his pancreas, he had decided a month ago.

Gordon put his binoculars to his face reaching out with his eyes for the last time to the three remaining members of his family, mere black figures against the almost white background of the sand. They seemed to be going seaward as they approached the headland. In a few minutes they were going over the last stretch of beach he could see; then they were gone. He put down his glasses, having nothing more to look at, and sat back to watch the play of clouds over the water.

All at once a dark speck came into view half way to the headland from where he sat, and his heart missed a beat as a rush of adrenaline burst into his blood stream. Was one of them coming back, unable to leave the old man by himself? He fervently hoped not. He picked up his glasses and trained them on the object. It appeared to be moving rapidly and purposefully, though not as smoothly as a bike would travel over that sand. He removed his glasses to see if he could judge its distance with the naked eye and concluded it was about two and a half miles away and moving at too fast a pace for a person walking.

Another ten minutes and his glasses picked out the quartering run typical of a dog whose back feet would get in the way of his front ones if they tracked directly in line. Ten minutes more and the dog was black, had a tail, and was definitely headed his way. He would welcome a new friend with open arms, dried filet of salmon, and fresh water, and only hoped it wouldn’t prove to be a Faustian bargain, a small black dog turning into Mephistopheles behind his wood stove. He needed no surprises. To be sure, he determined to scratch a large pentagram in the sand in front of his door.

When the dog got within hailing distance, the watcher recognized it to be an emaciated border collie; he called out in what he thought to be a kindly voice, but the collie kept its distance and sat down on the beach panting. The old man got up and walked into his house to fetch provisions which he placed in front of the animal then retired to his chair. Once more he relaxed and watched the catspaws race across the bay, pushing little wave front before them on the water. He reflected how many times he had watched their performance from his sailboat, judging their likely impact on his sails by the height of the wavelets they produced and by their speed across the bay. He had always marveled at the blue-black color of the sea behind the cats paws contrasted to the almost grey blue it sported in front of them.

Out of the corner of his eye Gordon observed his new companion stretch over the water bowl before him and start lapping it vigorously. His thirst apparently quenched for the time being, the dog turned to the salmon and sniffed it cautiously. Finally satisfied it wouldn’t eat him, he tasted it, then; in the blink of an eye, he had wolfed down the whole filet. Gordon hoped his removal of bones had been thorough. After his meal, the collie backed away from the man and sat observing him from twenty-five feet away. Their acquaintance was likely to be some time developing, thought his host, who knew how slow collies were to make new friends.

When night came on it brought a change in the direction and temperature of the wind, which was now off shore. The man could feel its mountainous origins, dry and cool. He thought maybe the dog would come inside later on and appreciate some shelter and warmth. He would make a fire and lay out a bed for the animal, begin the process of making friends again; it might help to fill the void in his heart.


                            ***

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Coming Home - Lucille Hamilton


All the steps leading away,
the doubts and indecision,
your body knows
and is telling you,
if you would stop and listen.

All the friends who encourage
and whose words are not the solution,
which gradually emerges in the dark,
and is your work, not their obligation.

Get past gratitude for what is offered;
don't linger there for long
because you must move on,
it is your soul's heart's desire.

This is your issue.  If you want to go home,
focus on its meaning
until you are not aware 
of whether or not it is day or night,
until these things no longer matter.

Start out in a world
with no demands.
Your intention will lead you
into the decision of your moving
on your own impulsion into the journey
of coming home, 
coming through the longing, 
the awakening, the growth
that such a goal,
such a journey means.

When I am going home,
the nearer I get to it,
the more I'm not going -
I'm coming,
I'm coming home.

Somehow, coming is a warmer word
than going.

                     ***   

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Short Subjects from a Journey - John Field


1. As if from the moon he looks down, Knees shaking, at his watery grave Waiting to take him in. Then flaps his arms With the winged exuberance of a baby bird, Shouts “Geronimo!” 
And flings himself off the high board, His skinny little body flash-frozen Like a popsicle The instant it strikes the water.

2. Reads The Stranger when he’s nineteen 
And feels locked inside its plot, 
Windows barred, ashes in the fireplace 
His destiny. Needs a speedy getaway, 
Drops out of college and moves to LA, 
Sunshine his second language now 
Until he gets burned by his girlfriend’s   
Bonfire of blazing red hair.

3. Trapped inside love’s shallow hell 
Between her beauty and the door, 
He’s mesmerized by her midnight eyes
Bright as massacres when the moon is full,
And quickly masters the art of forgiving
Her reflection for never straying beyond
The range of a mirror.

4. Is also familiar with the fact 
That her lips are blank checks
Waiting to be filled in—and doesn’t care, 
Just plays the fool in his own way 
Each time she picks his twenty dollar bills 
Like lettuce. 
Friends wonder how he survives it.

5. Idealistic by nature, 
Shy as a small forest creature
And just as romantic as the next guy,
He believes in the grooving 
Of their hearts together
Because to whom can he talk grand 
If not to her?
                                     
6. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong
Because he’s no fun anymore, so uncool 
He’d apologize to a tree for the legs of his chair.                                 That’s why she’s tired of being a role model
     For what the human race would be like
     If it ever learned how to behave itself. 
“Marry me,” he pleads, “and we’ll dance forever 
On love’s endless polished floor
And even have room for a dog.”
“Down on all fours! Down on all fours!” 
She commands as she gives him a tug
On his choke-chain----did you ever!
Then disappears behind a cloud of Chanel
So rare it has its own unlisted number.
What prevents this from getting really squalid
Is his ability to see things her way
And kill his impulse to shout,
“Have a heart attack!”  

7. Her legacy? Hope’s broken antenna.
All right. Okay. So what? No problem.
He can take it because this sort of catastrophe
Has happened to him before.
Convinced that only dead girls are nice
He breaks in his pain like a pair of new shoes
By leading a Spartan life, sort of:
No huge enthusiasms or loud cafes
Where bar girls hang out
And only the occasional use
Of recreational drugs,
His life tiresome, unsubstantial

8. Until he discovers 
There’s a world out there
When he meets his future wife,
Her love the bait, his S-O-S the hook,
Her touch the Yes-Oh-Yes of it,
His happiness so compressed
It keeps expanding into old age
And when too much increases into even more
He steadies it with shaky hands
In reverent benediction
As if it were a glass of sacramental wine 
And doesn’t spill a drop.
In this and only this is his salvation.  
       
                                    ***

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Solo mi Corazon - Noris Binet

Tomaste un bocado
de mi corazón
cuando estaba distraída
por la mente

Ahora solo
distraída por mi corazón

Esto sucedió un día
no recuerdo 
exactamente cuando
pero no importa

Porque 
inclusive ahora
mi corazón sigue latiendo
cada vez
que me despierto.

***

Only My Heart - Noris Binet

You took a bite
from my heart 
     I was distracted
by the mind

         Then
only by my heart

     It happened
one day
I did not know
 exactly when
     it doesn’t matter…

           Because
     even now
my heart is pounding
           every time
    I wake up.
  ***

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Feather of the Eagle - Robyn Makaruk



He struggled to bring air to his lungs after riding the rapids that propelled them both over fifty-foot falls. His grip was still strong on the child he’d carried through the ordeal who lay lifeless yet, but after administering his own healing breath there came a flutter of eyes, then coughing, spewing, and the young one returned to the living.

The Tribe welcomed them both back to the village, their voices raised in songs of praise for such bravery.

Before the Tribal Council, the young warrior recounted how he had tracked the child for two days before reaching him wading into the river.

The Chief spoke: “I give you this Feather of Eagle through whom the Great Spirit speaks to us about life. It symbolizes trust, honor, strength, wisdom, power, freedom and more. It is sacred to all our People. Wear it with pride”.

Monday, November 14, 2016

Going Home - Beverly Koepplin


I wonder where my grandmother’s heart went
when it went home.
Surely not back to the mother country
where, as an orphaned girl,
she trundled carts of soldiers’ 
bodies through the streets.
Surely not back to the farm 
in the North Dakota countryside
where she spent her days
spinning in the dust,
like a lost whirling dervish, 
never finding her way,
blown like the thistles 
across the brown flat lands.
I don’t know that this 
kind, gentle heart ever found a home.

I wonder where my mother’s heart went
When it went home.
Surely not back to that farm 
where she worked from dawn to dusk
minding her father and her brothers 
and the livestock, ever toiling,
doing her homework by the light 
of the kerosene lamp
and hoping that the words she read 
would somehow carry her away,
a magic carpet ride to a world 
where there was sometimes surcease.
I suspect her heart went back to Montana
because, like me, she never found 
a true home in California.

I wonder where my heart will go
when it goes home.
I know it will not be North Dakota 
for I, too, was lost there.
I know it will not be the San Joaquin Valley, 
where I never found my way, either.
Both are flat lands that run to the 
edges of the earth and leave me nowhere to hide.
It might be San Francisco 
as somewhere in the fog by the sea, I found myself.
It could be this valley where the mountains 
guard the precious vines and me.
But I know that my heart 
will go back to Montana, too,
and my mother and I will sit by the shores 
of Lake Como and listen to peace.
                        ***

Friday, November 11, 2016

The Way Home - Russ Bedord

Dumb with wonder
at every turn in the road:
there is significance
in endless wandering.
Who has seen mountains,
gazed into canyons,
peered across plains,
and seen the same?
It's never the same,
yet seems so.
Shared impressions
that cannot stand
lengthy discussions.

The Grand Canyon, 
painted magnificence
in different colors:
red in the setting sun,
dark at night,
shaded by the time of day,
season, and density of air.
Painted by imaginations
made real by
impossible distances
and riotous color.

Still struck dumb,
there is significance
in magnificent views,
in riotous colors,
in sun and shade,
in wandering minds
on endless roads
seeking the way home.
             ***

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Birds - Noris Binet



Birds
Flying everywhere
gliding on the air
like thoughts  in the mind,
they are my closest companion

Wherever  I go
birds and thoughts 
touch each other --
Kissing --
and falling apart.

         ***

Pájaros  Noris Binet


Pájaros 
Vuelan dondequiera
deslizándose en el aire
como los pensamientos de mi mente
ellos son mis compañeros mas cercanos

dondequiera que voy
los pájaros y los pensamientos 
se tocan-besándose
y separándose de nuevo. 

                  ***


Saturday, November 5, 2016

Water -Robyn Makaruk



His camel had borne him and the young boy
for six days across the desert,
the relentless sun burning lips to crackliings.
It had been a journey of desperation
to save the last of a family, annihilated by war.

At night under the velvet blanket of stars
the hope of reaching the oasis
was predominate on his mind.
Belief in himself and the human spirit
superseded all other thoughts

When the sun presented distant images
he knew that what shimmered on the horizon
was just a mirage, phantasms to be discounted,
for to reach the destination
more days of travel lay ahead.

And it was his faith absolute
that brought them to this place,
where the well
with water for all species’ survival
was waiting.

                      ***


Wednesday, November 2, 2016

The Marsh - Joshua Gramse

I think the marsh sleeps, but with one eye open and a mouth that curls strangely. A snoring chorus of insect things accompanies this melancholy slumber.  Dozing really, activity may rouse it into stifling all and making silence renewed. Jealous of the dryer climes, the bog will drink high ground when it can; gurgling swallows echo in it's bubbling stomach.  Straining the ear, one can hear muffled tales of cold, unblinking ancientness creaked out by the corroded mail-links worn by those who sleep under the peat. The bog stench speaks of low tide, alligator-backed but not tropical mangrove or lively Amazonian lagoon. Youth, like dryness, is a concept unknown within the bowels of the slough.  No crocodiles but rather afancs here, things of the bitter north that swish in murk. Noses cold, legs itching from sweat, lone travelers move warily through reed and rut, stagnant pool and loon nest.  The burning light of home is always too far off.  Mislead by foxfire, an unholy hoax, the marsh becomes a laughing web.  An eternity of lonesome souls have had their footprints stamped in and then erased by the ooze.

An enormous stone wheel grinds slowly, turned only by wounded eddies, a current spilling from the last breaths of dying hatchlings.  Travelers become transfixed by still pools. Their circadian rhythms get sticky, gummed up. Something clicks slowly, deep. A deliberate and methodical rhythm like clockwork, its springs festering with squirming swamp-things.  Too deep for the ear, the clicking is heard by the teeth, the bottom of the skull, the innards catch it and move in time.  Looking beyond with eyes of purest fog, Ink is the water that laps childlike at your edges.  Cold fell,  phosphorescent specters exhaling smoky coils of mist into the thornbush hair of a quietly moaning nymph.  Soaked to the bone, the reeds whisper at sullen waterfowl.  Some birds stay too long in the marsh, they stop moving and sprout with angry grasses.

There is a stone in the marsh that shrieks due to its proximity to that which is buried beneath it. Hunters have been rent asunder and become food for the tiny things when straying too close. The springs of Gehenna reach to our world's surface in the marsh, many nooks of hell are housed by it.  With hair of snow and eyes wild, some return to the hearth after mere hours lost in the fen. Secrets, mysteries that ruin the pink mind, making it gray and sodden, encrusted with broken mollusk shells and putrescence, these things a stumbling lamb may receive. The morass belches Saint Elmo's fire, the blinking eye of many a peat-fleshed troll, moss-furred and hungry.  Toothless, they suck victims to a dark and pungent place.

Having crawled out of the peat, hairless and sun sensitive, so too does one go to the peat.  Despite repeated bathing in the new, moss grows in neglected fissures. The night parts, sun shy areas of consciousness that gibber with black tongues behind soap fragrant ears, still squirm in the marsh.  Worms raise young in one's belly. They murmur in sleepy tones, soothing the shock of decomposition. Parasites become beloved children.

Frustrated, soulless and sexless, the marsh has no lover but is always pregnant. It births the putrid by parthenogenesis. It sees the things that live in its skin as progeny.  It grins at the things breeding and its pools, longing to nurture and strangle them. Swimming in itself, It tries its hand at mothering, but its sympathy is acidic; corrosion is its very breath.  It cares wickedly.

Having no true children, the bog is always longing.  It desires outside life, it is a thing of snares and traps. It cannot hide its true face completely, but will try. With a gurgling voice of mock sweetness, it bids the traveler, "lie in me child, weary you must be. Motion is tiresome. A thing-of-forever in me, you shall become. Though it seems to choke, the mist shall preserve you. Lie down child, lie down."

It lies about its lack of movement. It moves inside. Deep under it all there is a space where the roots, the rot, and the wet to give way to the deep orb. It rotates way down and keeps the humming click synchronized with the mosquito's incessant buzzing.It is a perpetual motion machine powered on quicksand suction and the chemical fermentation of dead matter.  Whole histories are down there, lost pack animals and men. Small bubbles hint at things nibbling underneath, forgotten days when, with a belly full of blackberries and millet, the shaven adulteress was cast down from her lynch-spot. Swallowed by greedy muck, she roared at her role beneath a dim sun.  She is still down there, and is kept company by cruel wishes and millions of teeth gnashing in unison. This is the engine of the quagmire.

                                             ***