Dr. P.O. Wringer, Psychiatrist was musing about his career as he waited for a 2:00 o’clock appointment. His father had wanted him to be a lawyer but he chose Psychiatric Medicine instead. P.O. had considered that he was a little nutty himself and had developed an interest in the subject. Now that he was practicing, he decided that listening to other people’s problems was boring and wished he had chosen a fun career.
He had worked himself into a state of gloom when the receptionist brought in his 2:00 o’clock clients. “Sergeant Pepper and Mrs. Belle Pepper, doctor.”
The Doctor was a little surprised. The Sergeant was in a green, military looking, uniform. His chevrons resembled a stack of three carrots. The Doctor blurted. “I don’t believe I can place your uniform, sergeant. “
“Quite alright Doctor, I am with the Peas Corps” the sergeant said. ” It is part of the Vegetarian Army, a charity. My wife and I are seeking your advice about our son, he has run away from home.”
The Doctor had turned on his computer system. It recorded conversations and made real-time assessments that were updated as a conversation progressed. The opinion text printed out was in colors that varied from green to red depending on the perceived speaker’s mental state or brain pain as the manual called it.The computer knew the Doctor’s voice and it now knew the other speaker was Sergeant Pepper. So far Belle Pepper had said nothing. The doctor trusted his computer’s evaluation not knowing that it was based on a modest upgrade of the algorithms that control a car’s dash panel warnings and the red “ENGINE” light. It had so far rated the sergeant as CONTROLLING in yellow type.
“Sergeant , said the Doctor “is your son an only child and how old is he?”
“My son, Jalapeno, is 25 years old and he has two younger sisters, Chili and Cayenne. We are a close knit family and Jalapeno has never left our home before.” the Sergeant answered defensively.
The Doctor’s computer was now flashing the CONTROLLING statement in red.
“Sergeant, most modern children assume they are adults and independent at age 18 and they are judged as adults by a court at 18 as far as incarceration is concerned. In some circumstances, 21 might be the legal age for an adult but surely at the age of 25 he would be legally independent of his parents if all his physical and mental aspects were not impaired. Does he have any impairments that have been diagnosed by medical experts?”
The Sergeant and Belle looked at one another in shock. Both had a deer in the headlights type of stare. “I had no idea that was the case!” the Sergeant whispered out. The computer commented, DODO in red. “Belle and I lived with our parents until the age of thirty but it was a religious thing with us. Our children weren’t eligible to join since they weren’t home schooled. Since Belle and I both work, the children have gone to public schools. Jalapeno doesn’t have any disabilities however he has a sort of super-ability that influences him.” The computer flashed a red question mark and exclamation points.
The Doctor responded rather condescendingly, “Actually Sergeant, many, many parents believe their children have special abilities. What do you think are Jalapeno’s special abilities?”
“Quite simply, it is heat!” said the Sergeant.” Jalapeno plays a trumpet, mostly modern music that Belle and I dislike. What is unusual is that he gets so hot that flames shoot out of the trumpet’s bell. We had to get him a ceramic trumpet with coolant running to the valves because metal trumpets got too hot to hold and parts melted together. When he left home he said that he had a job offer with a big band going on tour. I have some pictures on my phone if you’d like see that I am telling you facts!”
The Doctor was incredulous – even after he had seen the pictures. The computer texted in red: “Download to me. Can’t believe.”
“The Sergeant continued, “It is something to do with genes because the girls have similar talents. Chili plays a trombone and it makes smoke. Cayenne plays the tuba and she is beginning to puff out big smoke rings that travel across a room.”
Dr. Wringer asked for a moment to contemplate and he got the Sergeant to download the 75 pictures of the flaming trumpet to his computer. The computer came to a conclusion much faster than the Doctor, and the screen filled with large red type: GET OUT OF THIS SHRINK BUSINESS. GET US THE MANAGER JOB FOR A BAND WITH THESE KIDS, CALL IT THE HOT PEPPERS! BE GOOD TO THE PARENTS, THEY ARE STILL IN THE ICE-AGE.
The computer’s suggestion was finalized in a contract. The doctor is now known simply as POW. With his long, curly, shoulder length, hair and dated hippy style garments, he carries out the computer’s directions while checked into the hippy life-style, not missing the shrink office and couch – especially after his ex-receptionist tagged along as a groupie.
Belle quit her job as a salad chef and manages the band wardrobes. The Sergeant started eating hot dogs (and bratwurst during the European tour). He managed the band’s minor errands and traded his Peas Corp uniform for a bright red tuxedo with embroidered patches of Jalapeno, Chili, and Cayenne peppers. When viral demand for the patches occurred, the ex-Sergeant handled that business and became wealthy enough to buy his first automobile – a 100% cash Bentley.
Jalapeno Pepper, Chili Pepper and Cayenne Pepper were dedicated musicians for years. Their career was popular continually with no scandals. Because Jalapeno had set an auditorium curtain on fire, the ex-Sergeant was always on stand-by with a crew of five with fire extinguishers.The EPA insisted that the smoke the girls generated be analyzed. It turned out to be super-heated water vapor and non-polluting.
Genetic, medical and scientific analysis never did explain Jalapeno’s special ability. He willed his carcass to the Smithsonian Institution when deceased. It was after his 99th birthday. Unfortunately his coffin burst into flame, taking the whole mortuary with it. The fire burned so fiercely his ashes could not be distinguished from the rest.
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