BLACKBIRD - FRAN DAYAN

When I retired and moved to Sonoma, the thing I wanted to do most was to sing. I first went to one local chorus only to find myself handed a sheaf of Christmas songs.  Growing up a Jew, I knew these songs held little significance to me so I returned the sheaf with a thank you. Yes, I felt somewhat ungrateful but I couldn’t help myself. My blackbird was whistling  fearlessly in my ear.  As I left the hall and expressed my disappointment to an acquaintance she told me of a rock and roll chorus she’d heard about and was I interested? I shook her arm beseeching her to tell me where I could locate them. 

For many years I practiced psychotherapy and I was thinking of the needs of others all the time. Now, I had retired, it was MY time and so I began learning to sing, harmonize, and raise my voice in ecstatic song. Once a week I could count on an hour and a half where nothing entered my mind but a great rapture in the sounds we created. It raised me beyond the limits of my body. I never thought I could have such a sense of well being, that I could actually feel blissful. 

Singing rock and roll brought back a flood of memories of my earlier years immersed  in music, dance, nostalgia and love. Also, many years ago my son had been in a rock band too which added another layer of reminiscence. Recently as part of Sonoma’s Vox Populi Chorus, I began to direct song pieces that had special meaning for me. People actually stood up, raised their hands and clapped when I directed ‘Many Rivers to Cross’ (another Blackbird moment). I can’t explain it, except to say all this was the best thing that ever happened to me besides my son, my partner, my politics and Sonoma. My blackbird was definitely rising. 

Then just last week, we were all requesting new songs for our next song cycle; I requested a song and the deep desire to direct it, which was granted. I was ecstatic! The song was one Paul McCartney had written called ‘Blackbird’. The main lines go something like this:

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, 

Take these broken wings and learn to fly.  

All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, 

Take these sunken eyes and learn to see, 

All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly into the light of the dark black night... 

These were amazing lyrics that I've always loved.

I recently learned that Paul McCartney’s lyrics for this song were inspired following his seeing on the news a young black girl being harassed and taunted as she entered her new school following the desegregation of the South. I also heard that the blackbird in England and Western Europe was a songbird not the American  blackbird that squawks. So Paul McCartney is singing to this young black girl imbuing her with her beauty and courage in the face of such hate.

I realized for myself, the song 'Blackbird' was how my life had evolved, from opaqueness into light and clarity, from quietude to proactivity.  

A friend  in my writers group just wrote a short piece called ’In the Future’ about how as a young four year old child she had so wanted to read but her mother didn’t think she was old enough. There was no reading taught in kindergarten either so to her great disappointment she was only allowed to be a ’Bluebird’. Finally in First Grade she learned to read and became a ‘Redbird’ a source of great pride to her.  

Now I know I’ve only ever wanted to be a Blackbird, not a Bluebird or a Redbird but I only just found that out. I didn’t consciously realize what those lyrics meant to me until I was 78 and finally had the realization that my life had turned from normal and responsible to joyful.  

January 2014